Why the River Runs Page 16

  “I didn’t—”

  “Yes, you did. I know what rejection looks like. I went to jail because of it.” He was almost shouting so he took a deep breath calm down. “And you know what absolutely sucks about this whole situation? I can’t even be mad at the reason why you did it. You had to get to Boston. You had to be strong for your friends. I’d expect nothing less. But, damn it, Tina, for once in your life, let someone help you. Let someone be strong for you.”

  “I don’t know how!” Tina’s voice filled the barn, bouncing off the metal walls. Her leg twisted about, and she was going to gnaw her bottom lip right off if she didn’t quit. “I don’t know how, Bo. I’ve always had to be the rock, setting the course of the river. I don’t know how to be the water, following it. I don’t know if I can do what you’re asking of me.”

  “How would you know? You’ve never tried. You run in, guns blazing, commands flying and you never once stop to think if your way is the best way.” Bo leaned over the table on his fists again, sighed. “Even a great stone can be moved by water given the chance.”

  Tina swiped a tear from her cheek and turned her face away. She was quiet for a moment and he took that time to gain his composure.

  “Am I just too much for you to handle? Are you done with me then?” Her shaking voice almost broke him.

  “That’s not what I want.” He met her blue eyes and saw the pain she was holding in. “But I’m not the one who’s in question here. What do you want, Tina? And before you answer, make damn sure you mean it because I’ll never have another door slammed in my face. I promise you that.”

  Tina came to his side and raised a hand to touch his cheek. “I can’t… I’m sorry, Bo.”

  He closed his eyes, fear and anguish flooded him, leaving him cold. Of course she didn’t want him. He was an ex-convict with abandonment issues and a desire to be the center of her universe. He had nothing to offer her as far as money or prospects. Hell, she was his boss, she knew exactly how much money he made. He lived with his grandmother and drove a beat up, broken down truck. As far as arm candy, she would’ve been better off sticking with the fancy engineer.

  Yet he had hoped that for once, his heart would be enough for a woman. Many years ago, he’d given everything for his mother. When they lived alone things were good, not great, but he tried to treat her with respect and love, and make up for the fact that she’d left her husband in order to raise him. He’d been a foolish child, unknowing of his mother’s deceptions. When the police were hauling him away and she clung to the very man who had just beat the hell out of her, he realized that his best never would’ve been enough.

  Tina was nothing like his mother, and yet the sting of her rejection felt the same. He wasn’t enough.

  His jaw tensed under the palm of her hand and he tried not to let her see him react.

  “I’m sorry…I shut you out.”

  His gaze went to hers and the desperation he saw there broke his heart.

  “You’re right, I’m hard to deal with. No one has ever given me a reason to try harder. I never cared to with Trey and, God knows, Steven broke all kinds of things inside me that I didn’t bother to fix.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “I want to try…for you, I’ll try. Just…” she closed her eyes. “Don’t give up on me.”

  Bo’s breath whooshed out of his lungs from holding it. He pulled her into his arms and locked her in his embrace. Tina clung to him for dear life, like she would float away if she didn’t.

  “I thought about you,” she said, hugging him tight. “I tried so hard not to. I wanted to put you in a box and not think about you when I had to be away. It didn’t work. I wanted to call you every five minutes, I worried you’d hate me forever.”

  Bo’s world turned around so fast he was dizzy. “I missed you, too. From the moment I left your place, I missed you. Why the hell didn’t you call?”

  Tina leaned back, but didn’t leave his arms, making him happy. “It was so awful, Bo. When Meg’s brother, Lance, died, it was rough. Then when Christopher died, I almost couldn’t get out of bed. But this…this is—” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t want to ever lose a child.”

  Bo held her close again, soaking up the feel of her. “I’m sorry, T. I would’ve been right there with you if you—”

  “I’m thankful you’re here now.” Tina’s blue eyes turned upwards to his and a tired grin flashed on her face. She cupped his face with her hands. “Forgive me for being an ass?”

  “Always.” Bo leaned in and felt a sweet release when his lips touched hers. Home. Was there anything more perfect in the world than having her in his arms, her body melting into him and her mouth following his?

  “Will you do something for me,” she asked between their kisses.

  “Anything.”

  “Can I borrow a shirt?”

  Bo pulled back. What the hell was she talking about?

  Tina’s eyes sparked with mischief. “To sleep in. Here. If that’s okay?”

  “That depends,” Bo pursed his lips, “‘cause if you’re planning to curl up in bed with me, I plan to at least get to second base, maybe steal third.”

  Tina chuckled and rolled her eyes. “As long as I don’t have to drive home and you let me sleep, that’s fine by me.” About that time, she let out a huge yawn that made her laugh. “Sorry.”

  Bo ushered her out of the shop with his arm around her shoulder. “Come on, beautiful. Let’s get you to sleep.”

  At any moment, he was going to wake up. This is a dream. He pulled off his boots and jeans as Tina moved around the bathroom next door getting ready for bed and humming. She still had her bags from her trip in her truck and he wondered if she had gone home first or come straight to him. The thought made him smile. Either way, she was here and she was his.

  He picked up his room, gathering up the few dirty socks and shirts laying around and threw them in the hamper. Nan kept clean sheets on his bed, thank God. He grabbed an extra blanket from the hall closet and tried to slow his drumming pulse. She was exhausted, and though he joked, she needed rest not sex. It didn’t damper the excitement of getting her into his bed. At least she was here.

  TINA TOOK A DEEP breath and slipped into Bo’s room. She’d sent Duane a text letting him know she was crashing over here. She’d gone home earlier just long enough for her father to rip her a new one for being rude to Bo. Apparently, while she was gone, Bo and Nan had brought Duane dinner one night, cupcakes the next, and stayed to play cards each time they came by. Duane reported that Bo asked about her every morning and worked his butt off to cover in her absence.

  She didn’t deserve his affections. No matter how she justified her actions, she kept coming back to feeling guilty. Instead of repaying her with anger, he’d taken care of her father while she was gone. Instead of slacking off at work because the boss was away, he’d worked double hard to do his work and hers.

  Tina leaned against the inside of his door and marveled at him lying in the bed, shirtless and waiting.

  “Come on, baby.” He threw back the blanket and Tina’s stomach filled with butterflies. “You need some sleep.”

  What she wanted and what he said she needed here two different things. What she wanted was to climb on top of that muscled, tattooed body and ride hard. Bo’s delicious lips curved into a warm smile that beckoned to be kissed.

  Dear Lord.

  Unfortunately, she yawned again, making him laugh. “Yeah, I know. There’s a lot more interesting things we could do but you’re exhausted and I can see it. I’m staying on my side and you stay on yours.”

  Tina sighed and crawled into the bed, instantly liquefying into the mattress. “Oh God, this feels so good.” She wiggled and moved the pillow, getting comfortable. She faced Bo, both of them settling in. He stayed safely on his side, only crossing the invisible line to brush her hair off her shoulder. The softness of his touch gave her chills. “You’re trying really hard to be good, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I am.” B
o grinned. “You’re temptation personified right now.”

  “So…you don’t want to come over here and see what’s under this shirt?”

  Bo closed his eyes and took a deep, deep breath. “No. You need to sleep.”

  Tina liked this game. She loved seeing the effect she had on him. “What if I told you I’d like to run my lips over every inch of your bare chest?”

  “Tina.” Bo clenched his teeth and his sharp jaw tensed. “I will go sleep in another room if I have to. Don’t push me.”

  “Did you have a girlfriend in jail?” Tina bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing when he gave her a dirty look.

  “You’re a brat.” He turned on his back.

  She started giggling and was so deliriously tired that she couldn’t stop. “Screw the treaty line.” Tina cuddled right up next to him and nestled into his side. Bo took another deep breath, but put his arm around her and held her close. “Mmm. Now this is wonderful.”

  “You’re too damn hot for your own good, Tina Foster. Now, go to sleep.” He reached over her and turned off the lamp, pecked her lips, and went still beside her.

  Tina closed her eyes and listened to the rapid beat of his heart. It made her happy to know she wasn’t alone in her nervous delight. The drumming slowed with each breath he took.

  “Bo?”

  “Yeah?”

  His rough, sleepy voice curled her toes. “Have, um, have you been with anyone since you got home?” Please say no. Please say no.

  “As soon as I got out, all I wanted to do was get to Riverview. As soon as I got to Riverview, I was focused on getting a job. And then I met this feisty, sexy blonde who gave me said job. I’ve been concentrating on those two things ever since; the job and the girl.” He trailed his fingers down her back and made her shiver.

  “How long has it been?”

  “About five years.”

  Tina popped up and looked down at him. “Holy shit! You need to get laid, man.”

  Bo chuckled. “Don’t worry, I plan on making a move on that feisty blonde soon. She has to be well rested first. After five years, I might break her.”

  Tina couldn’t contain her giddiness as she leaned down and kissed him. “Good thing she’s tough. Unfortunately, she’s not well rested.” Tina yawned again and settled back into the bed.

  “Good night, baby.”

  “Good night, Bo.” Tina closed her eyes and focused on breathing him in, the scent of his skin, the beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest. It was easy to relax into him and drift off.

  She woke at some point during the night with Bo curled around her and happily went back to sleep.

  The morning sun came far too quickly. Tina rolled over on to a piece of paper crinkling beneath her. She grasped it and propped herself up.

  T,

  You were too peaceful to wake. Stay as long as you want. Nan made breakfast downstairs. I have to get to work, my boss is a task master. Get some rest. You’re going to need it.

  -B

  P.S. I want to wake up with you every day.

  Her body sang at the thought of what she might need that rest for. Of course he went to work. He would do double the work just so she could sleep. Everything Bo did secured her heart more and more.

  I want to wake up with you every day.

  She read the words over and over again, each time letting them sink deeper and deeper into her heart and soul. Did that mean what she thought? He wanted to be with her…forever?

  Tina couldn’t stay in bed, she was restless and, if she wanted to admit it, she wanted to be working with Bo. She dressed and pulled her hair up in a bun. There was no noise coming from downstairs and she casually meandered around the house, examining the structure, looking at the pictures on the wall, taking in the trinkets and books.

  There were pictures lining the staircase of Bo as he’d grown up. Once Tina saw the picture of him on one knee dressed out in his Riverview Pirates football uniform, she recognized him.

  Jail had changed Bo a lot. He used to be thin and lanky and had had an odd haircut. It made her giggle. He looked nothing like that awkward kid in the picture. Now his body was beefy and ripped with muscle. He traded that long brown hair for a barely-there buzz cut. The main reason she remembered him was that he would fall asleep in class and still make straight A’s. The teachers would gossip about how smart he was and how far advanced he was for their lessons.

  Damn, and she had him screwing up sheetrock and painting walls every day. He could go back to school, get a degree, be making more money somewhere else. What if she was holding him back? Hmm.

  Tina hit the bottom stair and nearly jumped out of her skin when Nan popped her head around the corner of the kitchen. “Morning!”

  Tina gasped and clutched her chest. “Sweet Jesus, Nan. You scared the hell out of me.”

  Nan chuckled and went back to washing dishes. “Sorry, honey. Come on and get some food in you. Did you get some sleep?”

  Tina slid up into a stool at the serving counter and watched Nan’s able hands work. Did she think that Tina had sex with Bo?

  “Yes. Your grandson was a perfect gentleman.” She couldn’t meet the older lady’s eyes.

  Nan leaned a hip against the counter and dried off the cup in her hands. “Don’t worry, honey. I know you two kids didn’t fool around. He was wound tighter than an eight-day clock when he left this morning.”

  “Good. I hope he stays that way all day long.” She exchanged grins with Nan who winked at her.

  “I hate to make it sound like you were on vacation, but how was your trip?”

  Tina didn’t know how much Nan actually wanted to know, so she answered as honestly as possible. “Miserable. I pray I never have to attend another child’s funeral ever again.”

  “It’s horrible, isn’t it? I bet that poor girl is devastated.”

  “She is.” Tina took a bite of eggs, needing a moment to get Meg’s wailing screams out of her head. Nan kept quiet and continued drying her dishes. “That baby was her whole world. She married Cole because they got pregnant and Noah has been her reason for living. God knows it isn’t Cole. I told her she needed to come home.”

  “Do you think their marriage will survive this?”

  Tina met her eyes and shook her head. “Cole loved Noah. He was a lot of things I wouldn’t say in polite society, but he loved his son. He loved Meg because of Noah, not the other way around. I don’t see what’ll keep them together now.”

  “That’s a shame. I hate to hear that.” Nan poured a cup of coffee. “You’re all so young to be going through such tragedies, and divorce on top of that.”

  “I don’t know if they ever had a real future. They weren’t stable when they started dating, much less now. I never understood why Meg moved to Boston with him in the first place.” Tina scraped her fork across her plate. “Then again, how does anyone know? Everything can change in an instant.”

  “For worse or better.” Nan smiled. “Wonderful things happen in an instant, too.”

  “Yes, they do.” Tina brought her plate to the sink and washed it, then turned to face Nan. “Is he happy? Is Bo happy working for me, us, my company,” she corrected herself.

  Nan’s knowing eyes crinkled in the corners. “Why do you ask, honey?”

  “Because, I finally remember him from school. He’s smart, like, brilliant kind of smart. He can’t possibly be happy painting for a living. He’s capable of so much more.”

  “He was capable. Now the world has labeled him as a convict, a stain on society, all because he fought an abusive son of a bitch and didn’t fight his crackhead mother.” She sighed. “Your daddy was the first person he interviewed with who didn’t take one look at him and judge him on what society says. Trust me, after the first two interviews, he’s happy to work period.”

  “I want him to be happy, Nan.”

  “Good. Then go work with him. That’s all it takes to make his day.”

  Tina swiveled her leg nervously
and chewed her bottom lip.

  “What’s wrong?” Nan took her hands and led her to the table. “Come talk to me, child. I don’t always give the best advice, but I know my grandson.”

  Tina sat at the table and accepted the coffee that was offered. This was so new. She was used to venting to her father. Since she’d never had a mother, heart-to-heart talks were usually done over beer not coffee. It amazed her how nervous she was in front of Nan. Her hands got sweaty and she tapped her foot under the table. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts and to form what she wanted to say. Nan casually poured sugar into her coffee and waited.

  “Bo is… It’s just…” Tina sighed. “I don’t want to disappoint him. He’s had so much heartache in his life. I don’t want to be one more. I’m so absorbed in my work, and half the time I forget to eat, much less communicate with other people outside of my crew. Jayden and Keri tell me I’m the most antisocial social butterfly they know. I don’t even know if that’s an insult or a compliment.”

  Nan laughed and so did Tina.

  She closed her eyes against the emotion welling up inside her. “I care for him so much it scares me. What if I mess up? I’m a pain in the ass. He said so himself.”

  Nan leaned her head to the side, her wavy, gray hair falling to her neck. “And what did he do when you asked for forgiveness?”

  “He took care of me.”

  “He did. And trust me, honey, he was very upset. Not angry at you, but upset that he couldn’t be there for you.”

  Tina put her elbow on the table and held her hand over her face. “I was rude. God, I was so rude to him. I don’t know why he was so merciful.”

  “He adores you.”

  Tina’s hand slowly fell and she met Nan’s grey eyes. “Really?”

  Nan reached up and touched Tina’s chin, a loving smile on her face. “He adores you, honey. His grandfather, God rest his soul, used to look at me the way Bo looks at you. Bo has respected you from the beginning. That respect has grown into admiration and now that you’ve taken the relationship outside of the workplace, he’s getting to know you more intimately. The question is, do you feel the same?”