The Roles We Play Read online

  He opened the back door and stuck his head out. “Pssst.”

  Kelly turned.

  “Is it safe?”

  She gave a one-shouldered shrug. “There’re no dead bodies, so I guess.”

  Trevor joined her on the bench and admired the man-made water features. A creek started at a small waterfall about thirty yards away. The water wound around and ended up in a pond full of hand-crafted, blown glass fish. Each sliver of glass had colors melted into it making the school vibrant and beautiful.

  “Those are interesting,” he said.

  “Thanks. I made them.”

  He caught her eye. “You work with glass too?”

  “It’s a hobby. Those are from stained glass windows I salvaged from an old church. This bench is made from the wood of their choir loft.”

  “Okay, I’m impressed. Carpenter, glass blower, photographer, marriage counselor, and you run a spectacular B and B.” His heart softened when she blushed, her laughter laced with nervousness. “Anything else you’re amazingly talented at?”

  “Flattery will get you nowhere, Hollywood.”

  They shared a chuckle before she stood and grabbed her camera. “Would you like the grand tour?”

  “If you leave the camera here.” He’d developed a serious aversion to the damn things.

  “Don’t worry. Neither one of us wants people to know you were ever here. I like taking morning shots of the gardens. Around the east side of the house is a marvelous view of the valley.”

  They meandered in comfortable silence. He appreciated that about Kelly. She didn’t fill the blank spaces with needless words. She was right; the east side of the property had a jaw-dropping view. Trevor walked over to a half-buried rock wall that had to be as old as the house. He propped up one leg and bent over with his elbows on his knee. A chilled breeze of fresh mountain air blew into his face and he closed his eyes to take in the stillness of the world about him. He shut everything out and his soul was calm.

  No filming deadlines, no directors, no scripts he had to review. No agents and publicists pushing him every which way. He could enjoy the serenity of this place.

  Click.

  He snapped his face to Kelly, who shyly lowered her camera. Her eyes darted around avoiding his. “I’m sorry. You looked amazing in that shot.” She realized what came out of her mouth and began to stutter. “I mean, you didn’t look amazing. It was the view and the pose and the sunlight on your hair. And I’m going to shut up now. Sorry. I can delete it.” She pressed a couple buttons on the camera.

  “No, let me see the shot.” He peered at the small screen on her fancy camera.

  He’d been shot with every high-powered, high-priced camera in the world. Yet when he saw the picture she’d taken, he’d learned it was all about the photographer’s eye. The shot was fantastic.

  The sunlight bathed the world beyond him and hit the layer of fog on the valley just right. His eyes were closed, his face serene. Trevor wanted to remember that moment forever. And now he could.

  “You’re right,” he whispered next to her ear. He leaned in over her shoulder. “It’s amazing. I want a copy of it.”

  Kelly turned her face until they were within inches of one another. “You’re not mad?”

  “No. I want to see it blown up.”

  The world stopped and his eyes flickered down to her plump lips. What would she taste like? Would she melt him with her lips the way she was with her eyes?

  Kelly didn’t give him the chance to find out. She stepped away and turned her back. “I need to go load the shots from this morning into my computer. Make yourself at home.” She scurried back into the house and left him in the yard.

  What they hell was he doing? If he had one rule in his life, it was to never get involved with a woman like Kelly. She was the kind that did damage, the kind you fell for and had to leave. He stuck to the Hollywood girls who didn’t have a brain in their heads. They didn’t ask questions, they didn’t care about his inner values or think of the future. Too preoccupied with parties, spray tans, and hair appointments.

  Kelly didn’t fit that mold. She didn’t even wear makeup. She was skilled at a myriad of things. She was the kind of beautiful that seeped from the inside out, walled heart or not.

  * * * *

  Kelly leaned over her computer and compared the lighting in two photos. The canvas-covered patio had diffused some of the morning sun, but a couple rays made it into the shots. To anyone else the two shots would have been identical. She agonized over the details. It was what made her a good photographer. It was what kept her sane and grounded in every other aspect of her life.

  As much as she tried to distract herself with the pictures, the momentum was lost when the final picture popped up on the screen.

  Trevor.

  “Damn it.” She closed the laptop and put her hands over her eyes. Had she really nearly kissed him this morning? Was she absolutely off her rocker? Getting involved with a celebrity wasn’t smart. Not in any way, shape, or form.

  She had read the magazines, seen the interviews, and watched his career over the last couple years. Trevor was a ladies’ man and the tabloids loved to track his flavor of the week.

  Kelly could not let herself get swept away by a pretty face. Been there, done that.

  “Hey babe.” Mark came through the door of her room without knocking. He was donning his jacket and adjusting his collar. “How’s it going?”

  “Great,” she lied.

  “Cool. Well, I’ve got to go take care of things at home before work this evening. You good to go?”

  “Yep.”

  Mark stopped in his tracks. “Uh-oh. You only say it like that when you’re hiding something. Is it Trevor? Is he too much to handle?”

  If he only knew. “No, he’s been a perfect house guest. I’m still tired, I guess.”

  Mark nodded, pursing his lips. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

  “Yep.”

  “Liar.”

  “Asshat.”

  Mark laughed and kissed her forehead. “I’ll call you later. I have a short shift since I covered last night. You want to do movies and pizza later?”

  “Sure, let’s watch a Trevor Jacobs film and see if he squirms.”

  “I love that evil streak in you.” Mark winked and bustled out the door.

  Kelly hid in her room until lunchtime. She figured it would be rude not to check on her guest and feed him. She found Trevor sitting in the parlor looking over a thick pile of papers. Deep in her gut, butterflies flapped their wings, and she hated the thought of it.

  “Hey,” she said, coming up behind him.

  “Hey.” He popped to his feet. Papers fell from his hands and he scrambled to pick them up. “Sorry, I was engrossed and I didn’t hear you.”

  “My fault. What do you have there?” She bent to help him clean up.

  “The script for my next movie. I’m supposed to start shooting next month and I don’t know if I—” He looked into her eyes. “Never mind. It’s not important.”

  “Sure it is. How about I grab some lunch and you can tell me about it.”

  His brows dipped. “Really?”

  No doubt, she was a glutton for punishment. “Yeah, I’d love to be a springboard if you need one.”

  What the hell was she saying? Shut it, Kelly.

  “Great. I’d like a woman’s opinion.”

  “Okay then.” She retreated to the kitchen to make lunch. One day she might learn how to speak to him like she had an entire brain and knew how to form complete sentences.

  Curiosity was a dangerous thing. But she wanted to be the person he discussed this project with. When would she ever have this chance again? Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to talk movies with their favorite movie star? It would be like sitting down with her favorite author and talking about books or sitting down with her favorite photographers and swapping tips.

  She took the peanut butter from the cabinet and looked at the s
miling figure on the front as he touched his top hat. “Yep, you and I are both nuts. Can you say, hello justification?”

  Chapter Five

  Kelly presented him with a wonderful, simple lunch. Sandwiches and fruit were about all his stomach could handle anyway. Sharing the script with her made Trevor’s stomach roll over, which made no sense. He’d stood on stage at awards shows and felt calmer than he did when she brought out the tray of food.

  She sat across the room and picked at her grapes while reading over the screenplay. This was the first time he’d reviewed it. He read a page and handed it to her. She was quicker than he was because he often looked up to see her hand waving on another page.

  Impatient little thing, aren’t you?

  As with the last two movies he’d been in, the plot didn’t thrill him. What would she think? They sat in silence for a long time while she read. The only sound was rustling pages. They rested against her knee, her leg curled up in the chair with her.

  Trevor tried to pretend to read, but he couldn’t stop watching her out of the corner of his eye. Her light-colored brows stayed dipped low as her brown eyes went from left to right, line by line. Take another page. Read more. Frown. Cringe. Get another page.

  The hands on the grandfather clock circled around and around. They only spoke when he offered to refill her glass and switch on a couple of lamps.

  Finally, as the sun set, she closed the pages and plopped it down on the table.

  “Wow.” She blew out a heavy breath and stood up to stretch her body. Her body curved in all the right places, a bit thicker around the thighs and chest. Raising her arms above her head, she stretched her back and gave him a fantastic view of her butt. Images of what he could do with those curves ran through his mind.

  The lusty feeling didn’t last long. When she turned around, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at him. “What did you think of it?”

  “I think it will sell tickets. This type of thing seems to be popular right now.”

  “No, I mean what did you think about the characters, the plot, the overall message?”

  She was fishing for something, but what? “I think the main character is a jerk. Women are somehow attracted to jerky types. The sexual stuff is appealing to women. It’s going to stretch me to pull this off. I don’t know much about dominants and their submissives, but—”

  “This doesn’t seem like something you would normally do. Is that why you’re doing it? To stretch yourself?” Her voice was even, but her body shook.

  “Not really. My agent thought I needed something different and this is very different. It happens to be a popular—”

  “Popular subject, yeah. I know.” She looked down at the floor.

  The whole movie revolved around a couple that dives into the world of BDSM. As they get deeper, he becomes more and more aggressive. It turns out he likes to hurt women. The leading lady is cheated on, abused, and eventually leaves her husband of ten years.

  “I’ve barely known you for a day, but I can already tell by your body language and your eye movements that you have something to say about this screenplay. Just say it.”

  “It’s terrible.” She threw her hands up in the air. “Are you seriously going to portray this asshole? As a fan, I want to beat you senseless for even considering it. It’s vulgar and trashy and I can’t imagine it’s rated PG thirteen.” Her voice grew louder as she griped at him.

  “R.”

  “See. You have young fans too. You can’t possibly think they won’t sneak in to see this simply because their favorite badass movie star is in it. Would you want a teenager to watch what this script has you doing to this woman? And even worse, getting away with it? The lead character suffers no consequences for his actions. There’s no responsibility or accountability for his behavior. His wife leaves, end of story. No big deal.”

  “Kelly, it’s just a character, it’s not really me.” He rose to meet her face-to-face.

  “You have to know that people will associate this character with you for the rest of your career. He’s a controlling, manipulative monster that gets to continue on his merry way hurting women.” She shook harder and her bottom lip trembled. “And the woman, come on.” She picked up the script and turned to a page and began quoting the script. “ ‘He ties her wrist so tight her fingers go numb and he then whips her until she sobs.’” She threw the papers down on the table. “That doesn’t have the markers of a serial rapist at all.” Sarcasm was alive and pulsating in her words. “I don’t get it. You’re always the good guy. You’re the hero who beats the odds to save the girl, and save the world, and achieve the unachievable. Why would you lower your standards to portray this filthy vermin of a man? For more money? You said it yourself, this subject is really popular. You feel like you need to sell your soul?”

  There was more at stake here than his reputation or his pocketbook. “Kelly.” He reached for her hand, but she pulled away.

  “You know what? Screw it. You do what you want.”

  Once again he was left in her wake. He flopped down in the chair and rubbed his forehead. Yeah, he agreed that this character was less than ideal. But there had been worse men on the big screen. This movie was going to be loaded with all the things that sold tickets: the romance of the couple, the kinky sex they explore, not to mention the guy’s obsession with the woman. Chicks loved that crap. This movie was projected to be one of the best selling tickets of the year.

  So why didn’t he care more?

  What he did care about was why Kelly had been so upset. Overly upset.

  He went downstairs and to the other side of the house to her studio. He saw Pops coming out of her room and closing the door. The old man’s sharp eyes pinned him.

  “Can I help you, son?”

  “I need to speak with Kelly. Excuse me.”

  He was surprised at Pops’ grip as he caught his arm. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. There was still a bit of power left in the old man. Trevor had to respect that.

  “She’s really upset, isn’t she?”

  “Let’s take a walk. She needs a moment.” Pops gave a tight-lipped nod and Trevor followed him out to the solarium. They sat down and Pops sighed. “Why don’t you tell me what happened? I couldn’t get much from her.”

  Trevor gave him the rundown of the afternoon. He described the screenplay and her reaction to it. “I don’t understand what I did wrong. She just doesn’t get it. This film could do wonders for my career. Sure, it has some distasteful moments, but sex sells and this movie is all about it.”

  “Is that what matters to you, Trevor? How many tickets a film sells?”

  Trevor shrugged. “It pays the bills, you know.”

  “What I’m hearing is, all you care about is money. That’s nice and shallow of you.”

  So much for not being defensive. “Hey, don’t be so judgmental.”

  “Son, I’ve got underwear older than you. I’ve lived for over seventy years, fought in wars, buried a son, a daughter-in-law, and the only woman I ever loved and had relations with, raised an orphan grand daughter, and lived through my other son being a total waste of space. I’ve seen it all, done most of it, and walked away from more trouble than I care to count.” He leaned over, his eyes narrowed. “I’ll be as judgmental as I damned well please and you’re not going to say nothing else about it. Punks like you are a dime a dozen. What makes you so special?”

  Trevor could only stare. How do you argue with that? Compared to his man, he was, well, not all that impressive. He opened his mouth to speak twice and shut it. “It’s not all about the money.” It even sounded lame to him. “I care about my career, my image.”

  “And what about your integrity?” Pops questioned, the softness of his voice easing the sting of the words.

  Trevor tried not to react defensively. “With all due respect, sir, I have a good reputation. I don’t get into legal trouble or anything. I’m clean. Not many of my fellow actors can say that. Hell, some build a
n empire around their lack of integrity.”

  Pops nodded. “True, true. I’ll admit I’m a bit behind on what’s hip with the kids today. But there is one thing that I know stands the test of time. Perception.”

  “Sir?”

  “How people perceive you. This movie sounds like the kind of thing that will surely make you more money. But it will also cause people’s perception of you to change. Women will wonder if this is the lifestyle you are into. Men will think it’s acceptable because you act it out. And then there are people like my Kelly.” He took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. “Who have lived a similar nightmare.”

  Trevor’s throat closed up and he felt dizzy.

  “Her perception of you will change. As will that of millions of other women who have been abused by manipulative men. You see, son, you were wrong about one thing. She does get it. She gets it all too well.”

  Trevor leaned over his knees and hung his head. One of the reasons he was okay with this film was because it was disconnected from his reality. He didn’t know anyone who participated in the lifestyle, didn’t know the real meaning of the traditions or rules. Sure, he would have done his research to accurately portray the part. Until that moment, when the concept was attached to an individual he had shared a meal with, it was foreign.

  Now it hit home.

  The character twisted rules created to protect into a cage for the vulnerable, and Kelly had been one of those vulnerable women. No wonder she flinched when he tried to touch her.

  “You know what I think?” Pops asked as he stood up slowly and groaned. “I don’t think it was a mistake that you ended up in my home.”

  Neither did Trevor.

  “Here’s a bit of advice from an old timer.” He put his hand on Trevor’s shoulder. “When I had my Nell, we didn’t need anything but each other in the bedroom. That was more than enough. When you find the woman you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, you don’t need all that…stuff. You only need her.”