The Roles We Play Read online

  “We are, right now. Can we focus on that instead of borrowing tomorrow’s troubles?”

  He nodded, not trusting his voice to be steady. This issue would have to be addressed at some point in the near future. Hiding out in the mountains wasn’t a long-term plan. Eventually he had to get back to California. But for today, he obliged Kelly and focused on loving her to the fullest.

  “Put your legs around me,” he said against her lips. As she slipped her tongue in his mouth, he buried himself in her luscious body. They spent the entire afternoon in bed, loving, talking, and discovering the various layers of each other. As many people as he’d met in his public life, none of them interested and intrigued him like Kelly. Their conversation went on for hours, only pausing long enough for a kiss or a touch. Seeing her melt and come undone in his hands quickly became his addiction. She filled a void in his life. How had he lived this long and not realized what he was missing? How could any man abuse a woman so funny and wonderful? If Kelly was his wife, he’d consider himself the luckiest man to walk the earth.

  Chapter Ten

  Kelly couldn’t believe how quickly the next few days passed. She had no choice but to continue on with her normal routine. She went out dancing with her girlfriends and had photo shoots both on the house grounds and offsite. Each night she sat around the table with Pops, Trevor, and occasionally Mark for dinner.

  What surprised her most was how easily Trevor assimilated into her daily activities. He was there to offer his opinions when she edited photos, he helped with dishes, and he even vacuumed the first floor living room when she rushed to get ready for a consultation. Each night they went to bed together and made love until they exhausted themselves.

  It was so easy to get caught up in his affections. He voiced his feelings easier than she ever could. That must have come from his training as an actor. He’d told her how he prepared for a role by identifying the emotional needs and internal motivations of his characters.

  It wasn’t as easy for her. There were times when she could read the expectation in his face, but she couldn’t say the right words. After locking up her emotions tight for so many years, it was a challenge to turn them loose now.

  What got to her were the moments she saw Trevor and Pops together. They worked in the yard, fixed various things around the house, and often sat out on the back deck with cigars. Trevor didn’t share much of what they spoke about, but he did say how her grandfather was an inspiration and how he felt lucky to hear his words of wisdom. Of course, Kelly feared it wouldn’t be her heart alone that would break in the end. Pops didn’t get close to many people, but he’d poured out his advice and stories on Trevor like he was his long lost son. Maybe it was good for them both.

  Trevor let his facial hair grow out, so after a couple weeks he was woolly, but not too recognizable. They made a trip to the grocery store together and went to the movies a few times, even hit a club and went dancing. Trevor was a toucher. He insisted on holding her hand or guiding her by resting his palm against the small of her back. When she thought about it, she realized his hands were always on her in some way. A touch of the cheek, playing with her hair, rubbing her shoulders, holding her hand. She wished more than anything to be as free with her physical affections, yet she held back.

  Whether he wanted to think about it or not, he couldn’t stay forever. No matter how many times he offered, she wouldn’t go back with him. She couldn’t. A small voice in the back of her abused mind feared all of this was an act. Trevor was paid millions of dollars to pretend to be in love with his co-stars all the time. Surely some of his actions were a result of that ability to fake love.

  That fear didn’t stop her from going to bed with him every night. She loved the way he ravished her body as if she were the most exotic woman on the planet. The women on television were thinner than she was, taller, better dressed and groomed. Trevor never compared her to them. That respect alone was worth every night she gave him.

  Waking up to him was a gift too. He rose early and would work out while she slept in. Or pretended to. Seeing Trevor work up a sweat had to be the biggest turn on of her life. Helping him wash the sweat off sated that hunger.

  Letting him go was going to be so damned hard. Her chest ached each time she thought of it. But after three weeks of the famous Trevor Jacobs being MIA, the media was beginning to buzz. Talk show hosts were making jokes about it in their monologues. The tabloids were reporting him missing due to everything from death by overdose to rehab to running from the law. If he didn’t surface soon, they would hunt him down like rabid wolves.

  Kelly kept that at the forefront of her mind. He didn’t belong to her. He never really could. They might share a bed, but sharing a life was impossible. She kept the wall around her heart strong. It would make the separation easier—she hoped.

  * * * *

  As the sun set on his third full week with Kelly, dread bubbled up in Trevor’s gut. Tomorrow he had to check in with his people. Once he did, they would be on a deadline.

  Jessica, his agent, would want to know exactly when he would be back and when they could start filming. No doubt the studio was pissed already.

  God, he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t know if he could.

  He walked out of the bathroom and saw her in skimpy purple silk against the white bedding. The finest work of art, even as she checked her email on her cell phone. Actual tears pricked his eyes. Not the fake stuff he could call on at a moment’s notice, but deep-seated pain in his heart with chest-constricting tears. He’d almost forgotten what they felt like.

  Looking around the studio to keep her from seeing his emotional drama, he noticed her camera sitting on the tripod, ready for the next photo shoot. If he had to leave her, he wanted to take his memories with him.

  Kelly watched as he set up the camera. Her expression morphed from curiosity to shock. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open.

  She shook her head. “Are you out of your mind? Don’t you know how sex scandals begin? Some horny idiot gets a bright idea, grabs a camera, and next thing you know it’s all over the Internet.”

  “Not you. I trust you, Kelly.”

  “Famous last words.”

  “I want to remember this. I want to capture this moment so that no matter what happens in the next weeks or months or years, I’ll always have you.”

  His words trickled out faster than he’d contemplated them. Now that he’d spoken the truth, he knew this was about much more than physical gratification. These last three weeks had changed him and he wanted something he could physically take with him when he left. Even thinking about the inevitable departure knocked the air out of his throat.

  “I know you won’t go with me, but your smile will. I can’t take Pops back, but his wisdom will be with me forever. Every day here has been memorable. Please let me have proof this wasn’t all a fabulous dream.”

  * * * *

  Kelly blinked away tears and swallowed hard.

  He crawled back in bed with the remote to the camera. It might have been selfish and reckless, but she was going to take whatever he wanted to give her. If all they had were great memories of the time they spent together, so be it.

  “Forget it’s there.” Trevor leaned in and kissed her softly. The touch was so tender it broke her heart. Releasing the sheet she’d covered herself with, she ran her hands up his chest and around his neck. That body was so firm, so hot under her palms. “Focus on how good we are together.”

  Kelly bit her bottom lip and laughed. “Okay. On one condition.”

  “Anything.”

  “Can we position the pillows and blankets so that they cover everything?” Her bottom lip was going to bleed if she didn’t quit biting it.

  Trevor sighed dramatically. “This is what I get for falling for a photographer.”

  Kelly toppled him on the bed and kissed him silly. When she pulled back, he was still grinning. “Set the stage, woman. After that kiss I’m dying to love you again.”


  Kelly scrambled off the bed and looked though the camera lens at her bed. “The camera really does love you, Trevor.”

  “What about the beauty behind it?”

  His question caused her hands to falter. There was no way to answer that question and keep her emotions in check. She went back to adjusting the camera. The picture would be great, but the lighting wasn’t right. “We need candles.”

  “Hell, yeah, we do.” Trevor bounced off the bed and Kelly couldn’t help but appreciate the view of his naked body. Everything on him was toned and firm. One particular body part was incredibly firm indeed.

  By the time the stage was set, Kelly was nervous. Her body hummed with desire, but the thought of capturing their love making on film was unnerving.

  “You’re thinking too much, baby.” Trevor lay down on the bed and sprawled out.

  “You’re looking far too at home in my bed.”

  “It’s a sexy bed.” He held out his hand and enticed her over. Kelly brought the camera remote to the bed and climbed on top of Trevor. With one final glance at the camera, she threw caution to the wind and settled over his hips.

  As she and Trevor made love, the only sounds were the sighs of pleasure and the click of the camera. It was the craziest thing she’d ever done. No matter what else happened between them, she would remember this night for the rest of her life.

  * * * *

  The next morning, Kelly was awakened by the sound of Trevor’s voice. He was arguing with someone over the phone. She caught the gist of the conversation though. Whoever was on the other line was very unhappy with his leave of absence and wanted him back in California immediately.

  “Fine,” he growled into the phone. “Arrange a flight and text me the information. You’d better believe I’m not happy about this and someone is going to hear about it.”

  He turned around as she climbed out of bed and wrapped herself in a sheet.

  “I’m sorry you had to hear that.” He took a deep breath and put his hands on his hips. “I have to leave, Kelly. The studio and production company are threatening to offer the part to someone else if I hold up production because I haven’t signed the contract. I’ve made a huge mistake by staying so long.”

  She didn’t want to dissect that last sentence. Surely he wasn’t referring to being with her. Surely.

  Doing the only thing she could under the circumstances, she nodded and went to dress. “I’ll fix you something to eat.”

  Trevor’s forlorn sigh reflected exactly how she felt. “Okay.”

  She couldn’t show him how deeply she cared. There was an entire population of fans waiting for him to return and resume his place as Hollywood royalty. She’d known all along it wasn’t smart to fall for him. The fact that she had was her problem, not his.

  “One quick thing,” she said as she raised her jeans over her hips. “Mark doesn’t know we’ve been sleeping together. It’s best if we keep it that way.”

  “Right.”

  Kelly threw on a sweatshirt and never looked back. She went to the kitchen and prepared Trevor’s favorite food. If the magazines were right, he liked omelets for breakfast. Over and over again she repeated the reasons she couldn’t be with him. He lived in Hollywood. She didn’t. He lived in the spotlight. She didn’t. Millions knew him. She was a nobody. He was cover model material. She wasn’t.

  “Whatever is going through your head is dangerous. I can practically see the hamster turning the wheel.” Pops came over and kissed her on the forehead. “Your pretty boy leaving today?”

  “How did you know?” Kelly focused on making the omelet.

  “You think I don’t remember being young, spending all day in your bedroom, not coming out for dinner? How do you think your father got here? I know exactly why you’re beating the chicken out of those eggs.”

  If she weren’t so upset, that would’ve been disturbing. She calmed her stirring motions.

  “Pops.” Kelly faced him and looked him dead in the eyes. “He has to leave. He’s been here too long as it is. There is no other option. It’s not like I can go with him.” Her staccato sentences helped her control her emotions. “I will not lose my head over this. You have to promise that once he’s gone, it’s back to how it was. Life goes on.”

  Pops’s white brows dipped down low and his lips pinched together. “Humph.” He nodded. “If that’s how you want it.” He grabbed three plates from the cabinet. “You sure have been happy the last few weeks.”

  “Pops,” she warned.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He scuttled to the dining room to set the table while muttering under his breath.

  * * * *

  Trevor was quiet through breakfast. Kelly made his favorite. She knew him so well already. What he hated was the way she refused to look at him. It tore his heart out. Pops tried to make conversation and did a good job of diffusing the situation. They all ignored the big white elephant in the room.

  After helping clear the table, he went to his room to pack his things. Jessica called with an afternoon flight itinerary. He was leaving from an airport over an hour away so no one would guess where he’d actually stayed. As he loaded his clothing, he realized that he’d have an entire hour in the car with Kelly to talk things over.

  No matter what she was thinking, their relationship was not over. They had only scratched the surface, and if he had to have a damn press conference to announce it, she would get the point.

  He thought about yesterday and it made his stomach do somersaults. Every touch, every kiss had branded his soul. There would be no other for him. He had to convince her if it was the last thing he did.

  Downstairs, Kelly waited in the foyer with Pops. She wore a jacket, which was a good sign. Her keys still hung on the wall. Not a good sign. Pops came to him first, his hand held out.

  “Son, I sure hate to see you go.”

  “I wish I could stay.” Trevor shook his hand and pulled him in for a manly hug. “Duty calls. Thanks for…everything, Pops. You’re one of a kind.”

  The hug had thrown off the old man, who nodded and looked away. “Come back when you can’t stay so long, eh?” He chuckled and walked into the next room. The way his voice trembled nearly broke Trevor’s will.

  He turned to Kelly. “Ready to go?”

  She inhaled deeply and opened the front door. Outside sat a cab. His heart sank down to his shoes.

  “Kelly, baby.”

  “No.” Her red-rimmed gaze found his and he longed to take her in his arms and make love to her once more. “It’s easier this way. Please.” She held out an envelope and asked him not to open it until he was alone.

  “I’m going to call you when I get to the airport. Okay?”

  “Yep.” She stuck her hands in her pockets. This was the same woman who had met him at the airport three weeks ago, the woman who didn’t know what to say or how to act around him.

  “Kelly,” he pleaded. “Don’t shut me out. This isn’t goodbye, do you hear me?”

  She met his gaze. “We’ll see.”

  “No, we won’t.” Trevor pulled her into his arms and brought her lips to his. He cupped her face and kissed her with all the passion and love he contained. That kiss left nothing unsaid.

  When he pulled away, Kelly had tears running down her cheeks.

  “This isn’t over.” He kissed the tears and touched his forehead to hers. “Don’t give up on me, Kelly. I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “I hope you will,” she whispered.

  “I’ll call you later. Don’t cry, baby.”

  “Yep.”

  Trevor couldn’t say anything. She waved at him once he was in the cab. He took out his phone and sent her a text. I miss u already. A reply never came.

  All the way to California he racked his brain to come up with a solution to his problems. He had to deal with the studio and the movie. He had to convince Kelly he wouldn’t forget about her.

  Then he remembered the envelope in his bag. He slipped it open, looked
inside, and made damn sure no one else could see. They were pictures from their weeks together. A sticky note clung to the first one with Kelly’s elegant handwriting.

  Trevor,

  No matter what brought us to this point and no matter where we go from here, I will always cherish the time we spent together. I hope these pictures tell our story.

  Trevor pulled out the pictures. The first one was of them in the woods on their nature walk. Kelly had argued when he suggested getting a picture of them together. Now there was her smiling face cheek to cheek with his. The next was him standing in her backyard with his knee propped up on the rock wall. Even now it dumbfounded him how she caught such amazing shots. The next one was with Pops and Mark sitting on the couch for movie night.

  It struck him as sad that he didn’t recall Kelly taking all these pictures. Now that he looked back, he remembered how she always had her camera with her. God, he missed so many chances to take her picture.

  The last picture caused him to suck in a deep gulp of air. The shot was incredible. The candlelight danced off the gauzy white bedding that surrounded two lovers. They were forehead to forehead, wrapped in each other’s arms. Kelly’s perfect body was discretely covered with the duvet except for her shoulders. She straddled him and his arms held her tight, his hands pressing against her back. It was surreal. Looking at the amazing photo, he almost didn’t recognize the couple as him and Kelly. They were perfect together. Both man and woman were smiling though their eyes were closed.

  Love. That’s what the picture said. This couple, caught in the moment of mutual ecstasy, conveyed deep resounding love for one another.

  Trevor clenched his eyes shut; he refused to cry on this stupid plane. Since he’d seen the pictures of Ann and Gabe, gazing at each other in love, he’d envied the couple. Who would have thought he’d end up with something better? He pinched the bridge of his nose and took several deep breaths. Damn, but that woman had his heart in her hands. If she only knew what a mind-blowing experience the last weeks had been for him. His entire universe had shifted. The fulcrum of his thoughts had blonde hair and deep brown eyes and a laugh that resonated down to his bones.